A Life in Words

Can't seem to fall back asleep again... To much on your mind that seem to chase your dreams away. Your body tries to give you little hints reminding you that it would be great to finish what deep sleep you had just awoken from. You are frustrated with yourself that the thing that is usually so easy for you to do seems an impossibility at this moment. Falling asleep. Like falling in love maybe, something that can only be done when you are finished worrying about everything. Thoughts running through your mind in the upcoming morning but oddly enough its a rarity that in fact you are thinking of only the morning. A sleep deprived moment always seems perfect for thoughts of your life, of your future. Will I be great, will I do better. Will I beat this, will I fall short. What can I do here, what didn't I do there. You always seem to try and finish the puzzle of your life while you sit there trying desperately to trick yourself back into some sense of sleep. I have not woken up to this feeling in a long time... Feeling of unrest, hope, and fear all mixed into one heart beat. Where is this coming from Jesus... My eager mind tries to over-analyze this emotion as if it were placed on me with the most symbolic meaning at the most symbolic time. Which in all reality I should just so willingly be able to grab the emotion throw it to Him and roll back over to the dream I had been living. But instead here I am typing away... Jesus, you wanna grab this for me?