Shortness of breath. Chest tight and heart jumping. Tossing and turning ad he tries to sleep. His eyes feel heavy but his lids feel as if they are spring loaded, not able to stay shut. His mind races back and forth trying to find something to put him at easy. His throat tightened and his starting to hurt. He throws his covers off trying to find something to comfort himself. He slips outside without making a sound. He grabs the ladder out of the garage carefully a quietly as he places it on the side of the house. Moving up the ladder as he reaches the roof top he softly slides up to the highest point and stands tall. His head tilted just slightly staring up at the night sky. His legs shiver as his body tenses and his neck grips tight from the muscles grtting ready for him to scream.

I miss talking. Sometimes I feel as if I have so much to ramble on about. Or at least I just want someone to listen to. My chest feels tight and my heart seems like it has been running a marathon and just hasn't stopped. I don't quite no where to go and I dont know in which direction I should be going. I know that I don't want to sit down and stop. I know that I don't want things to slow down or take a drastic change. I like the idea of relaxed, I like the idea of no drama and casual. And my heart could just stop running maybe I could actually chill for just a little while.

Abortion... I don't know why this hit but it was triggered by a political add on the radio... If you are a person you must decide when a fetus becomes a human being before having an opinion whether abortion is right or wrong. If you are a person who is a Christian you must believe that no matter the time abortion is ending the possibility of life. No questions asked. But my question is, why must we have an extreme law of yes or no... If you make it unlawful for someone to have an abortion you are taking away choice. Which God gave us. Why would you take away what God gave us. Now I don't believe abortion is right. Because you are ending a life. Now is that saying that I think it would be an easy decision, of course not... There are plenty of possible moments that would bring about a hard decision. But I don't think I believe you should take away the choice.

It seems there is no patience when you are lost. You take a wrong turn and then another. Your surroundings no longer look familiar so you grasp anything you can trying to get back from where you came. You squirm and shout scaring yourself half to death with all of the would of's and could of's and should of's in the moment you were lost. All of the possible out comes, usually leaving out any positive ones. So you scramble afraid to be lost for even one more second. And you take usually the turn that you should of past by.

I don't think trusting someone is as simple as believing that the person you trust will never hurt you or lead you astray. But more that when they do, they wont leave. They wont stop until whatever happened that wasn't favorable is fixed. That no matter what they will always love you and be there when you need them. People suck sometimes... just the nature of the beast. But the real beauty of a person only shines when things have gone dark. And darkness is not always a quick endeavor. We tend to want the pain and hard times to be the quickest moments and if their not we walk away. You can never say your strong until you know how much you can take. A body builder could never be called the strongest man or woman unless they picked up their weights. Loving someone and trusting someone is hard work. Its lonely and dangerous. You are left out in the open more times than not and most of the time the "open" isn't some beautiful safe place. But that moment when the trust pays off, when the love breaks through... the awesomeness cant be measured. A beautiful thing when we reach our limits and those we were holding on for grab us... right when we needed them to. Love, trust, faith... all beautiful things... but beauty isn't without its pain... A smile will always come after a tear... I laugh will always come after a scream. Just depends on if you want it bad or just conveniently.