Tuesday, November 16, 2010

The clock ticks by during the day,,, You go through the normal routine of your life as you perform the duties that you have signed on to in your profession. You stare down the clock as its ticks get slower and slower waiting for the day to end and the evening to begin. You have nothing planned officially but you always have a hope or two of how the night will go. Usually you cling on to the idea that you will be with someone regardless of who that someone will be. Usually you latch on to someone close to you or at least someone you can rely on to be there... If you are in love or at least at loves edge you fall into that safe feeling where you imagine the night of you being in the arms of that person or at least are around that person. If you are more of the free spirit you imagine the fun that will come from the night that is almost lying at your feet. Tick tock as the clock makes its last few efforts in slowing the day down enough to avoid letting you go but as it gets closer and closer the excitement grows inside of you as you start to think of what the night may hold. You start your journey away from the day to day duties that you have and move toward the sanctuary of your life. You do a few small things here and there to prepare yourself for the night ahead. You may clean up a little, light a few candles or put on some music... You may wash your face and throw on some sweet smelling thing while you find yourself something good looking to wear. But those little insignificant things that you do to prepare are only the work before the excitement. The excitement is the waiting for that person to get to your place, the car ride to pick them up or standing outside the theatre waiting to see their smile. Your heart starts jumping as your mind wonders, your eyes looking for that person, your heart beating louder and louder just to make sure that you're awake. Your palms becoming sweaty, your breaths a little deeper, your mind wondering, and you find yourself restless. And then the moment comes where you see them coming around the corner, driving up to your house, or walking out of theirs and what is a simple moment turns itself into a lasting impression on your heart. Your hands tighten and you take a deep breath trying to get your chest cavity as far away from your heart as possible hoping that it will stop your shirt from jumping because of the hard beating from your heart. You close your eyes softly and put on a smile hoping that they cannot see the intensity of your emotions. You walk towards them meeting them quicker than you expected only because you were not paying attention to the walk due to the fact you had no more to give away from them. Your arms open because of habit and they slide in more than likely for the same reason. You try and shrug off how amazing it feels by giving a small light hearted hug but as you do your heart falls into a calming relief and you hold them as if they were the most fragile thing you have ever touched but in a way that nothing could possibly tear you apart. You look that person in their eyes as if you had not seen them in ages and as if you never wanted to look away. You both lean forward trying to give a simple kiss... Your lips touch so softly it is as if a butterfly were landing with sore feet. Your hands shaking behind their back slide against them holding them firm in your hands as you both quietly kiss... Moving away softly and looking at each other as if your eyes had never let go. You swallow quietly trying to get the lump out of your throat and sigh deeply trying desperately to restart you heart. You grab their hand and walk them to where ever you are going as the night has only just begun.

She lays in your arms as your finger tips slowly slide through her hair. Her eyes open and close as you feel her taking soft steady breaths. Your gentle hands teasing themselves with the notion that they are as close to touching an angel as they can be. Your body solid as a rock holds her firm with confidence while your heart tries to escape your chest with its quick, rapid beating. You sigh... quietly hoping to allow this emotion to leak from you without being noticed. She seems happy with your touch, and you dare not move trying to avoid the inevitable goodnight. You stare at the clock as its seconds speed up and you desperately try to find something to trade for just seconds more. she looks at you saying goodnight as her eyes say don't go... your heart almost breaking as you start to walk away instead of wrapping her in your arms and never letting her go. You look back to wrap these feelings up, to sigh and say goodnight hoping that time will pass by as quickly as it did tonight until the next time you can see her face... hear her voice...
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Monday, November 1, 2010

Sometimes I wish I could put a label on how I feel but I think its less that I feel something and more that I am bored with the current situation.
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