Should we stand shaking our heads at the things we do not believe in, the things we dislike, or the things that we would at the top of our lungs spend a lifetime opposing. Should we stand judging or frustrated with those who may celebrate the things we would stand up against frustrated with the seemingly victorious moments whether they be small or big. Should we stand in awe of the shrinking feeling that our cause or beliefs may be losing the battles against its transgressors. Or shall we celebrate the simplicity of life.

Shall we be in bitter disgust over the short comings of this world and those who fill it, or should we just for a moment remember the brilliance that this life and those who inhabit it may bring. Our life whether short or long will stand to see brilliant moments pass before it and those moments allow for the choice of enjoyment or torture. Shall we not stand before these moments with a smile on our face showing the enjoyment of this life. As God chose to send his son to save this chaotic mess let us not forget not only his excitement but also Jesus love for our life and things that are to come. We dare not stand up and softly count only brief moments that share smiles and shed life in an overwhelming amount of moments that bring less than happiness to our hearts.

No we stand and speak happiness and joy over our lives because there is happiness and joy. We realize the importance of light when we encounter darkness. Shall we stand for the desire to look and appreciate happiness only when it is missing or hard to see. No we create the opportunity to see and feel that happiness simply from the wanting to find it. Let us search for that light with a desperate hunger not because we are missing it but because we know it is there. We live this life with morals and a heart that tells us that this life is worth living... that this life is worth living for those who are living around us. And our heart tells us this not in some simple whisper as to remind us when we get off track. It screams to us everyday allowing us to find smiles in simple, uncomplicated moments. We find these smiles not

Social Media

In today's world we have built technology up to allow us to really represent ourselves to those around us. We have build social media sits and instant video sites where plugging in our own personalities and our own likes is simply a click away. We have forced ourselves to the microphone and the camera allowing our true selves to be represented in the things we produce. But what are we producing. Are we producing what we are, who we really are or are we producing what is popular or easy. What will get the most views and the most likes... Something that may seem attainable without trying to break the mold. Or are we being creative, allowing our true light shine. Allowing that God given gift that is in each of us to show its beautiful face which forces those around us to be brave enough to show theirs.

 "We are all meant to shine, as children do, we were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others"

This life is not something to just sit aside and wait for it to shine. Whether the reason is because we are afraid of it or we doubt ourselves. This life is a beautiful thing and we have the brilliant opportunity to portray what awesome gifts we have been given. Don't be shy with those because as we shine we inspire others to do the same.

Elijah on Mt. Carmel will always be an interesting story to me. One Elijah was sarcastic which makes my heart so happy. More of a personal thing that is. But two how that all went down is an amazing thought provoker.

God in the beginning set it up for Elijah telling him where to go and what to say and Elijah followed. But not only did he follow he was very confident in following him. I constantly ask myself why we don't see the super obvious miracles today as we see happening in bible. I have actually had many discussions on that particular topic just recently with those in my life. This may be more for myself rather than for anyone else but I love the thought so I figured I would write them down. I am very impressed in Elijah calling out to God to show his power to prove himself over those who did not believe or who were at least wavering on their belief. But Elijah was not calling for this answer of God for himself, he was calling for God to help those who were in disbelief. He was not shocked when God answered nor was he a deeper believer because God answered. He asked for something to happen. He asked for something to happen from someone he knew would answer in their own way. He asked God to show himself in his own way at his own time knowing that God was ready to do it.

I wonder if my faith would strength after being in such a situation. Now I am sure that Elijah and God still grew because of this but not in a sense that he needed God to show for him to grow. I guess in the end I am just simply amazed at the idea of how easy it was for Elijah to call on his God to answer he cry to help those in need of his light and truth. And he did it not for himself or for his faith or for his relationship... He did it because God had asked and because those who were in front of him needed to hear.

Love, Faith, and Fear

Watching a clip from Jentezen Franklin and this is what I have held onto.

"Faith activates God and Fear activates Satan".

2 Timothy 1:17 God has not given us a spirit of fear. (It is simple... He has not given us fear)

Our connection with God is through faith. When we are able to receive his blessings it is through our connection which is our faith. A connection with the enemy is through fear. As God did not give us this it can only have been received or learned from the enemy himself.

1 John 4:18 says Love has no fear, in fact a perfect love will push fear out. For fear is from punishment. As we fear we allow the enemy to talk us to the ground. We allow the enemy to make us feel comfortable hiding. Genesis 3:9-10 God calls out to Adam asking "Where are you?" and Adam answers I heard you were near and I hid from you because I was afraid.

Pastor Frank Hawley of Garden Grove Church has recently preached that the enemy's focus in our hard times is to put a wedge between us and our faith. Whether that be of friends, family, or even God; the enemy's focus is to separate us from our faiths, from our strengths. Allowing us to accept and believe that we are afraid, that we have fear and nothing sounds safer than under the covers.

Rob Bell gives a visual of his son doing something he should not have and hiding underneath his covers. He sits there for hours believing that the place he is most safe is from those who love him. Under the covers and hidden away is where he believes he deserves to be. When his father comes and finds him he holds this drenched from sweat little boy who decided that being in a miserable place... Hot, Dark, and alone, was far better than being with those whom he believed had lost faith or love in him. His father holds him close and whispers to him over and over that no matter what he will never love him less. There is nothing that he could do to cause his father to love him less. Because God's love for us has no fear!

I am not afraid of what you can and will do to me. I am not afraid of what might come later in life. I am not afraid of whether my love for you will fade or diminish because of the pain that you can and will cause for me in the future. Because I know that no matter what my love from this moment on will do nothing by grow, mature, and strengthen for you.

I am stretched to say that I will have faith in this moment. I am stretched to say that even though it seems as if it is going to falter I will keep going down the path you lead me to. I am stretched to say I will do everything in my power to hold my faith tighter than the fear that the enemy tries to convince me of. Curling up and laying down will not work this time. Being afraid of what will come is just not as strong as the faith of moving forward. I will show myself that I can follow him wherever he tells me to go. Regardless of how many times I have to fall and get up. I will not sit down with this anymore!

Risk takers

It seems that our generation is just fascinated with the idea of taking risks... Standing up for who you are, be creative, be yourself, and seize the moment I am sure are all things you could find on some wall decoration in every apartment, house, or dorm room that my "peeps" and I inhabit. But are we really risk takers or do we just really like the idea. Do we stand up and take life by the horns or do we just like it written in our space. In my head a good argument says something like, of course we seize the moment. We do so many things that are out of control, sky diving, mountain climbing, bungee jumping, white water rapids, and other equally adrenalin driven tasks that make us sit back in our triumphant risky lives. But is that really the "risk" that these philosophical decorations speak of. When we say risk something in this life are we really talking about our physical health, our easy paced heart rate activities? Or is it something a little more emotional, spiritual, things that can really snatch the breath right out of us. I would be the first one to suggest that we should drop our normal routined weekend and move onto something that we haven't ever done or at least something that we don't normally do... But would I risk the safety of my heart? Would I risk the safety of my mind and its controlled status. Am I overly willing to keep doing the same stupid and sometimes painful things because I know the length of its consequences? Where is the risk that my mind seems to crave seeing? Where is the risk that my heart and soul seem to crave... From a safe distance. Do I simply fall into the same horrible cliché only teasing my fantasies about something that I will always keep just out of my reach. Shall I just stand here idly by in the shadows of life only because I know the depth of its darkness and fear the brilliance of the light.

A Planned Church?

I wonder,

Are we playing a game to get everyone involved? Are we playing a game to get everyone playing?

Although we play with passion and convection, are we simply playing this game to get everyone around us involved and to get our safety accomplished, to receive our bandaid and a low cost. Are we drudging through to maintain the same look with a new friend now and then.

Could we be coming to church to receive what we always receive something meaningful to us but the same meaning over and over. A bandaid to cover the injury, and maybe not mainly to heal the wound but to cover up its nastiness.

Was church meant to have a program? Was church meant to run down a set idea with little pieces here and little pieces here that we know will hit a mark so everyone can have multiple chances to feel God. Do we think we have any control over those moments. Do we come to church to hear that one song, to see that one friend, to listen to that one pastor, or maybe to see that one special service. Do we come expecting to see a well planned service or do we come expecting to feel Jesus, to experience the holy spirit? Do we even give ourselves a chance to receive him? Does the service agenda or timeline allow for it or prepare for it or even expect it?

Have we... Have we gotten to a point where we need to add lights, a certain song, a solo, and a pastor that jumps up and down to allow us to receive God and his message?

Simple question... Actually two simple questions.

Why do we come to church? And do we take away God by adding in ourselves in church?

A Simple Task

I may have a little bit of a hero complex so the following thoughts that you are about to read will ultimately come because of that fact. But also because when I speak I will always hope that the person listening will at least hear something and not something that they have heard their whole life. Something real and something real for me.

When I speak to people about God I really hope that a sense of passion comes screaming off my words and I hope that they can at the very least hear someone who really believes... maybe not someone who is trying to share, critique, condemn, but someone who is just telling the other something that they believe with all of their heart. The same way I would stand up for a friend, the same way I would stand up for a sports team or idea that I trust and follow. I hope for at the very least the person I speak to hears  someone speaking who really and truly believes in God. That being said after all of that I can only be passionate to what I know and there is no one that can keep on fire about some little detail over and over. In our relationships, romantic or not, we fall deeper into that relationship because of the details we learn and accept about one another, we dont fall deeper because we keep holding on to one little detail that we learned so long ago. And my passion for God will only come from learning more and more about him. I will only be able to produce or let loose the passion that I receive from him to others if I learn more about him. And what do I have to do to get to that point ladies and gentlemen... What simple little task must I do to learn more about him? I must read! I must read what he has left for me to read. My father has graciously left me a key to the world written down from perspectives from many people far before my time and this simple key is sitting on the end table next to my couch waiting for me to just simply pick it up. I am not waiting on him.... He will always be waiting for me.

Ranting... Maybe raving...

Sometimes it just makes me laugh in my little head how we or maybe just I operate. I think my generation really believes that the world would just shut us up if it had the chance. Our voices, our opinions, or thoughts and ideas could just go away and never be heard of again.. I think sometimes we feel this way so strongly that we fight and kick and scream when it really wasn't the right moment, further contributing to the older generations wanting to take our voices away in the first place. The true problem behind it all is that in those rare moments when we are tested and given a chance to speak we clam up, the idea of speaking has become something so large that we fear it. I have not yet decided what I believe is the reason but I think I have narrowed it down to two different options. One is that we simply have nothing to say. We bark and scream about the things that we have to say, how our thoughts and opinions are so important yet we really don't have anything worth listening to and when we get the chance to share this brilliance we quickly realize after trying to form the first moronic sentence in our heads that we really have nothing to say. Or two, and I hesitate to even have this thought because it really just blames the groups for not letting us speak on so many levels. But just maybe we end up buying into the lie that we really have nothing to say. That our voice is to immature to really bring anything worth while to the table. It is silly to think there is a magic age that your thoughts and opinions mature and really start to matter. That there will be this amazing moment in our lives that we will wake up and society will have decided that we have lived enough and seen enough to merit having something to speak about. So when that sought after day comes and someone cues up the mic ready for our thoughts and we freeze up maybe, just maybe we finally started to believe what we had been avoiding for so long. Maybe we finally started to believe without evening knowing that we were junk and all we knew was stupid and not worth anyone's time.

Take 8 Minutes

Sit back and relax... Take 8 minutes to listen to something beautiful. Hear the music and relax - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RbafIbcO7m8

Deposit?

I wonder if I were to look at my friends and ask the simply if I deposit good into their lives just what they would say. I wonder if they could look at me and say you listened when I needed to speak or you were busy and had a lot going on. I wonder if they would say you were there for me to lean on when I was falling or if they would say you watched me fall. I wonder if they could simply say you gave me a smile when the room was ever so dark.

I can only hope... that my life has been a deposit and that deposit be as simple as a smile.

Testing 1,2,3

Could this work??? Will this work??? well if it does we are in good spirits...

No one needs us to speak passively. We tend to hold back on things that we believe we are not experts on. With the fear of harming or detouring someone from the right choice. We tend to fear to be wrong simply either affecting us or affecting them. But if we speak with steadfast courage, if we speak with purpose we may be able to change something for someone.

Christians, we stand toe to toe with the world trying to keep our head above water. We have this longing, this desire to stand up and preach to the masses to explain and tell God's truth as we see it but we hold back, sometimes more so than others. We stand still worrying that the secular listeners may not agree with even our very basic beliefs. 

If we look back to the bible it is very encouraging to see how Peter and John responded to the rulers in Acts (4: 13-20 msg). The rules tell them to get out and to never speak again in the name of Jesus. Then in the last verses They respond to the rulers by saying, "Whether it's right in God's eyes to listen to you rather than to God, you decide. As for us, there's no question - we can't keep quiet about what we've seen and heard".

One of the greatest obstacles to our speaking out in public about the truth as we have seen it in our walk is that we believe that we must win. Or that we have to some how play by the rules with our secular world and its leaders. But Peter shows us that this is not at all what we have to do. Our duty is not to win or to play by the worlds rules. Our duty is to stand firm and tell our hearts through what we know of God. 

Peter says very simply "We can't keep quite about what we've seen and heard" or in another version "We must speak what we have seen and heard". He is a witness. The simple point is that all Christians should stand up and tell it like they know it. Don't worry if the world doesn't agree with even your very basic believes. Remember, your job is not to win, Your job is to say what God wants said. 

The bible says in Romans 1 & 2 that the law of God is written on the hearts of every person, and in Genesis it says that everyone is created in God's image. That's enough to believe that your witness to the truth about whatever subject may lay in front of you could trigger something deep inside people. It will have a truth ring to it deep in their hearts that could be being suppressed for whatever reason that God is waiting to shake loose. Waiting for his truth to be spoken boldly and clearly by his army. 

The recurring thought the last few weeks has been to have a stronger voice with those in my life and those not in my life. I fantasize just a bit about being a bigger help. To be able to speak more intelligently on life and life's problems. Whether that is spreading my faith or simply spreading joy. I actually get quite disappointed when I go over the seemingly empty eps that is my impact on life around me. I think that is one of the easy lies that the enemy whispers into our hearts. I believe that God creates many moments in our day that becomes so very influential to others even when we do not see it. All we can do is simply spread our heart to those around us. To speak truth and to speak good towards all that we see. And trust that God will use those moments as he sees fit.

We always seem to want whats best for us... Even in the most ridiculous of situations. Probably one of our better qualities. But when a moment comes up where the enemy picks on a weak spot in our hearts we fold and convince ourselves that we deserve less... and not only that we deserve less but that we are less. We allow his whispers to creep in and tackle our hearts. We all but welcome him into our minds and freeze when his grip reaches around our insecurities. And once that grip secures itself it would like nothing better than to spread throughout our lives to every possible situation. Making us stop in our tracks, making our breaths that much harder to take, and making our voice shake to a point where we no longer trust what we have to say. We deserve better. But until we believe that very fact our hearts insecure or not will be open for attack and our enemy is cunning and smart. He has perfected his skills over millions before us. He is good at what he does but he is not the best. He can be defeated. Easier than we could ever imagine... he can be defeated!

I am not willing...

I am not willing could mean a lot depending on the situation. It could mean a lot of good or mean a lot of bad. It could be dripping with encouragement and strength... Or reeking of fear and doubt. We are not willing to stand idly by why the world is being taken over by lust, pain, cruelty, and out right Godlessness... I am not willing to watch those around me fall into the same hole that I was stuck in for so long. I am not willing to leave you stranded and alone because of my own fear. I am not willing to give up on you. How amazing it must feel to have your faith be tested on any level and you stand tall... slamming your foot down and with a strong voice you protest that you are not willing to give up. I am not willing to let the enemy in and destroy my life even if it is for only a moment. I am not willing to watch your army fight endlessly against odds that would have made the armor barer shake. I am not willing to give up hope. Oh how those moments would pass and hearts would be uplifted.

Fear...

You read time and time again in the bible "fear not". It is strange to me how often God or Jesus makes a reference to not fearing. It is only strange to me because fear is such a common thing in my life and I am sure so many more. Not common as in I fear all the time but more that it is a very well known emotion that frequents my thoughts on numerous occasions. And oh does it work. The enemy has done quite well in mastering the art of fear. We read in the bible the absolute first knowledge of fear was experienced by Adam where after he ate the fruit he hid from God. Because he was afraid of what might come. Life hasnt really changed yet because fear is just as strong now as it was then. It grips you in ways that you would have never expected. We are told in the bible "fear not"... we are told in the bible "do not be anxious"... but we still fear and we still become anxious. The enemy has indeed perfected this dastardly thing. This emotion that swallows you hole. It chocks you from the world and covers your eyes. You cant breathe. You heart feels like it is pounding and your head matches the toucher. You mind runs and things on every level dealing with the situation. How you can beat it, how you should not be where you are, and the ever tempting "woe is me". Fear is smart... The enemy is smart. He knows where to poke and when to poke and how to poke at things that you thought were long gone. He sits and waits... and waits for your guard to slack just slightly where he can try his games again. We have a protector but I hate it when someone stands up and screams with all of their might, JESUS is our protector and he shall get us through this. Yes... I agree, with all my heart that Jesus is my protector. But when I dont give him the chance. When I lay down my shield, the enemy has full reign. Why must we hide??? Why must we run??? Why dont we stand tall and be the iconic inspirational hero that we always dreamed of being. Standing toe to toe with the enemy... Feeling Jesus standing beside us as we battle for our very soul. Our sanity even. Why must we shuffle off into the night with our tails between our legs. God help us.

It seems strange to be so far from you. I am working for you constantly. Trying so very hard to think of new things for your people, for myself to be closer. Although I will be the first to admit that I have slacked lately and I am in no way trying to say I don't know who's fault it is as to why we are so quiet with each other. But now that I miss you. And I know that I should call more often. Just wanted to write it down, so I could remember.

How many times have I laid my head on my pillow and think I'm garbage, horrible, stupid. How many times have I either ended or started a day thinking I'm junk. Everyday life tries to sell us this lie that we are junk... that we are worthless. Sometimes the salesman is pretty good and we buy into it. And when that moment comes the lie becomes truth to us. We load on bag after bag of baggage which carries every stupid little detail that we either hide or idolize. We tend to think only sin sticks to us but even sinless pain can find its way on our backs. A harsh word from a stranger, coworker, friend, family can latch itself on our shoulders and make itself at home. We stand there holding baggage of the moment, day, month, year, lifetime while being sold the lie that we are garbage. And sometimes we are just so darn tired that the lie just sounds so true.

This boy puts his hands on his knees breathing heavily, trying desperately to catch his breath. he takes quick shallow breaths over and over trying not to finally fall to his knees. He closes his eyes as the sweat slides off his forehead. His hair feels like a wool blanket wrapped around his head only making him hotter. His clothes feel like they have just come fresh out of the dryer but a bit to soon, a little damp but still so very hot. He looks up at his goal just out of arms reach. He had been running so diligently for so long after this thing. He smiles knowing of corse that even through the sweat and maybe a few secret tears the chase has been well worth even being this close. But that smiles fades gently the more he realizes that the distance he runs doesn't really close, but strangely stays the same. He fears that as he slides his head down when reaching the limits of his strength while he runs, the thing slyly slides just a bit further away, being very careful to stay just far enough away.