Getting Married

Wedding time...

I think there will always be entrances to new parts of our lives that will try and strain us to the point where we clearly see what we want, why we want it, and just how far we are willing to go to get it.

I am getting married... And I have been chasing this girl for a long time... making her happy means so very much to me. But getting married is the combining of hopefully two different souls, two different hearts to form one team, one solid effort to walk through this world and hopefully leave it better than we found it.

Now the fun part. These two different souls, these two different hearts have been walking through this world at their own pace, listening to their own song, and picking our their own special cherished details that make the world beautiful specifically to them... These two are now tasked with combining all of those thoughts, those ideals, those truly unique idiosyncrasies that have formed their life and really put them to the test. We will find what really works and what was really just a quick fix to get us through special seasons. We will realize that what we stood for might not necessarily change but maybe the tools that kept us standing weren't the best fit for our lives and that brilliant someone has been given the secret that we needed so sincerely. Sometimes that can hurt and sometimes that can be frustrating because we never really leave the place where we want to impress the other. We never really grow out of our burning desire to wow one another and when we actually need help or some simple piece of advice it can sometimes feel as if we have failed them or simply not up to the task.

We feel the heat of these moments in our young relationships and we watch them as time goes by doing one of two things. Either the flames harden and shape us to a new uniqueness, giving us beauty and definition that we never knew we could achieve. A new look, new abilities, new strengths and details that help get through this world and really accomplish that little thing we set out to do in the first place. Leave this world and this life better than we found it. Or... The heat breaks us, shattering our fragile state because were not ready or able to be formed in the manner as to which the moment was working.

We see these moments shaping us, giving us the brilliant opportunity to see just how sincere we really are. Seeing what we want, why we want it, and just how far we are willing to go to get it.

I am getting married... And nothing could make me happier.

Trust?

Heart racing today...

It is funny to me that although I know that I trust God I still have incredible fear over particular things in my life. It is funny that my mind can pick out very small and insignificant details and allow them to grow and manifest into these incredibly dramatic and upsetting things. The way that someone looks at you or the tone of voice they may use. Allowing you mind to whisper to your heart, this is something you should be worried about... and without hesitation your heart does it's very best at carrying out that request. He starts to beat faster and without rhythm making very easy tasks seem impossible. Focusing on work and other responsibilities becomes a hopeful wish rather than a usual day.
And then out of nowhere your mind, the instigator of this rather depressing moment shows his ugliness once more. But this time it seems that your mind has forgotten that he caused this chaos in the first place. Conveniently he has forgotten that all of this emotion has been caused because of how someone said hello or goodbye and he has taken it past ridiculousness. All he can see now is how crazy your heart is. He focuses on all of the reasons this could be happening... and with the amazing imagination that he has the blurred line between real faults and exaggerated moments becomes invisible. He races on and on thinking of all of the fantastic truths and all of the fantastic lies that could be concocted, giving meaning and reason to the actions of your heart.
Meanwhile that moment, that flippant hello or goodbye was due to the other persons troubling moment and while they stand in anguish going through their own frustrations we stand idly by worrying about our own.
All of this while standing firm that I trust God with where I am... Its a little funny.

Should we stand shaking our heads at the things we do not believe in, the things we dislike, or the things that we would at the top of our lungs spend a lifetime opposing. Should we stand judging or frustrated with those who may celebrate the things we would stand up against frustrated with the seemingly victorious moments whether they be small or big. Should we stand in awe of the shrinking feeling that our cause or beliefs may be losing the battles against its transgressors. Or shall we celebrate the simplicity of life.

Shall we be in bitter disgust over the short comings of this world and those who fill it, or should we just for a moment remember the brilliance that this life and those who inhabit it may bring. Our life whether short or long will stand to see brilliant moments pass before it and those moments allow for the choice of enjoyment or torture. Shall we not stand before these moments with a smile on our face showing the enjoyment of this life. As God chose to send his son to save this chaotic mess let us not forget not only his excitement but also Jesus love for our life and things that are to come. We dare not stand up and softly count only brief moments that share smiles and shed life in an overwhelming amount of moments that bring less than happiness to our hearts.

No we stand and speak happiness and joy over our lives because there is happiness and joy. We realize the importance of light when we encounter darkness. Shall we stand for the desire to look and appreciate happiness only when it is missing or hard to see. No we create the opportunity to see and feel that happiness simply from the wanting to find it. Let us search for that light with a desperate hunger not because we are missing it but because we know it is there. We live this life with morals and a heart that tells us that this life is worth living... that this life is worth living for those who are living around us. And our heart tells us this not in some simple whisper as to remind us when we get off track. It screams to us everyday allowing us to find smiles in simple, uncomplicated moments. We find these smiles not

Social Media

In today's world we have built technology up to allow us to really represent ourselves to those around us. We have build social media sits and instant video sites where plugging in our own personalities and our own likes is simply a click away. We have forced ourselves to the microphone and the camera allowing our true selves to be represented in the things we produce. But what are we producing. Are we producing what we are, who we really are or are we producing what is popular or easy. What will get the most views and the most likes... Something that may seem attainable without trying to break the mold. Or are we being creative, allowing our true light shine. Allowing that God given gift that is in each of us to show its beautiful face which forces those around us to be brave enough to show theirs.

 "We are all meant to shine, as children do, we were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others"

This life is not something to just sit aside and wait for it to shine. Whether the reason is because we are afraid of it or we doubt ourselves. This life is a beautiful thing and we have the brilliant opportunity to portray what awesome gifts we have been given. Don't be shy with those because as we shine we inspire others to do the same.

Elijah on Mt. Carmel will always be an interesting story to me. One Elijah was sarcastic which makes my heart so happy. More of a personal thing that is. But two how that all went down is an amazing thought provoker.

God in the beginning set it up for Elijah telling him where to go and what to say and Elijah followed. But not only did he follow he was very confident in following him. I constantly ask myself why we don't see the super obvious miracles today as we see happening in bible. I have actually had many discussions on that particular topic just recently with those in my life. This may be more for myself rather than for anyone else but I love the thought so I figured I would write them down. I am very impressed in Elijah calling out to God to show his power to prove himself over those who did not believe or who were at least wavering on their belief. But Elijah was not calling for this answer of God for himself, he was calling for God to help those who were in disbelief. He was not shocked when God answered nor was he a deeper believer because God answered. He asked for something to happen. He asked for something to happen from someone he knew would answer in their own way. He asked God to show himself in his own way at his own time knowing that God was ready to do it.

I wonder if my faith would strength after being in such a situation. Now I am sure that Elijah and God still grew because of this but not in a sense that he needed God to show for him to grow. I guess in the end I am just simply amazed at the idea of how easy it was for Elijah to call on his God to answer he cry to help those in need of his light and truth. And he did it not for himself or for his faith or for his relationship... He did it because God had asked and because those who were in front of him needed to hear.

Love, Faith, and Fear

Watching a clip from Jentezen Franklin and this is what I have held onto.

"Faith activates God and Fear activates Satan".

2 Timothy 1:17 God has not given us a spirit of fear. (It is simple... He has not given us fear)

Our connection with God is through faith. When we are able to receive his blessings it is through our connection which is our faith. A connection with the enemy is through fear. As God did not give us this it can only have been received or learned from the enemy himself.

1 John 4:18 says Love has no fear, in fact a perfect love will push fear out. For fear is from punishment. As we fear we allow the enemy to talk us to the ground. We allow the enemy to make us feel comfortable hiding. Genesis 3:9-10 God calls out to Adam asking "Where are you?" and Adam answers I heard you were near and I hid from you because I was afraid.

Pastor Frank Hawley of Garden Grove Church has recently preached that the enemy's focus in our hard times is to put a wedge between us and our faith. Whether that be of friends, family, or even God; the enemy's focus is to separate us from our faiths, from our strengths. Allowing us to accept and believe that we are afraid, that we have fear and nothing sounds safer than under the covers.

Rob Bell gives a visual of his son doing something he should not have and hiding underneath his covers. He sits there for hours believing that the place he is most safe is from those who love him. Under the covers and hidden away is where he believes he deserves to be. When his father comes and finds him he holds this drenched from sweat little boy who decided that being in a miserable place... Hot, Dark, and alone, was far better than being with those whom he believed had lost faith or love in him. His father holds him close and whispers to him over and over that no matter what he will never love him less. There is nothing that he could do to cause his father to love him less. Because God's love for us has no fear!

I am not afraid of what you can and will do to me. I am not afraid of what might come later in life. I am not afraid of whether my love for you will fade or diminish because of the pain that you can and will cause for me in the future. Because I know that no matter what my love from this moment on will do nothing by grow, mature, and strengthen for you.

I am stretched to say that I will have faith in this moment. I am stretched to say that even though it seems as if it is going to falter I will keep going down the path you lead me to. I am stretched to say I will do everything in my power to hold my faith tighter than the fear that the enemy tries to convince me of. Curling up and laying down will not work this time. Being afraid of what will come is just not as strong as the faith of moving forward. I will show myself that I can follow him wherever he tells me to go. Regardless of how many times I have to fall and get up. I will not sit down with this anymore!

Risk takers

It seems that our generation is just fascinated with the idea of taking risks... Standing up for who you are, be creative, be yourself, and seize the moment I am sure are all things you could find on some wall decoration in every apartment, house, or dorm room that my "peeps" and I inhabit. But are we really risk takers or do we just really like the idea. Do we stand up and take life by the horns or do we just like it written in our space. In my head a good argument says something like, of course we seize the moment. We do so many things that are out of control, sky diving, mountain climbing, bungee jumping, white water rapids, and other equally adrenalin driven tasks that make us sit back in our triumphant risky lives. But is that really the "risk" that these philosophical decorations speak of. When we say risk something in this life are we really talking about our physical health, our easy paced heart rate activities? Or is it something a little more emotional, spiritual, things that can really snatch the breath right out of us. I would be the first one to suggest that we should drop our normal routined weekend and move onto something that we haven't ever done or at least something that we don't normally do... But would I risk the safety of my heart? Would I risk the safety of my mind and its controlled status. Am I overly willing to keep doing the same stupid and sometimes painful things because I know the length of its consequences? Where is the risk that my mind seems to crave seeing? Where is the risk that my heart and soul seem to crave... From a safe distance. Do I simply fall into the same horrible cliché only teasing my fantasies about something that I will always keep just out of my reach. Shall I just stand here idly by in the shadows of life only because I know the depth of its darkness and fear the brilliance of the light.