Christians, we stand toe to toe with the world trying to keep our head above water. We have this longing, this desire to stand up and preach to the masses to explain and tell God's truth as we see it but we hold back, sometimes more so than others. We stand still worrying that the secular listeners may not agree with even our very basic beliefs. 

If we look back to the bible it is very encouraging to see how Peter and John responded to the rulers in Acts (4: 13-20 msg). The rules tell them to get out and to never speak again in the name of Jesus. Then in the last verses They respond to the rulers by saying, "Whether it's right in God's eyes to listen to you rather than to God, you decide. As for us, there's no question - we can't keep quiet about what we've seen and heard".

One of the greatest obstacles to our speaking out in public about the truth as we have seen it in our walk is that we believe that we must win. Or that we have to some how play by the rules with our secular world and its leaders. But Peter shows us that this is not at all what we have to do. Our duty is not to win or to play by the worlds rules. Our duty is to stand firm and tell our hearts through what we know of God. 

Peter says very simply "We can't keep quite about what we've seen and heard" or in another version "We must speak what we have seen and heard". He is a witness. The simple point is that all Christians should stand up and tell it like they know it. Don't worry if the world doesn't agree with even your very basic believes. Remember, your job is not to win, Your job is to say what God wants said. 

The bible says in Romans 1 & 2 that the law of God is written on the hearts of every person, and in Genesis it says that everyone is created in God's image. That's enough to believe that your witness to the truth about whatever subject may lay in front of you could trigger something deep inside people. It will have a truth ring to it deep in their hearts that could be being suppressed for whatever reason that God is waiting to shake loose. Waiting for his truth to be spoken boldly and clearly by his army. 

The recurring thought the last few weeks has been to have a stronger voice with those in my life and those not in my life. I fantasize just a bit about being a bigger help. To be able to speak more intelligently on life and life's problems. Whether that is spreading my faith or simply spreading joy. I actually get quite disappointed when I go over the seemingly empty eps that is my impact on life around me. I think that is one of the easy lies that the enemy whispers into our hearts. I believe that God creates many moments in our day that becomes so very influential to others even when we do not see it. All we can do is simply spread our heart to those around us. To speak truth and to speak good towards all that we see. And trust that God will use those moments as he sees fit.

We always seem to want whats best for us... Even in the most ridiculous of situations. Probably one of our better qualities. But when a moment comes up where the enemy picks on a weak spot in our hearts we fold and convince ourselves that we deserve less... and not only that we deserve less but that we are less. We allow his whispers to creep in and tackle our hearts. We all but welcome him into our minds and freeze when his grip reaches around our insecurities. And once that grip secures itself it would like nothing better than to spread throughout our lives to every possible situation. Making us stop in our tracks, making our breaths that much harder to take, and making our voice shake to a point where we no longer trust what we have to say. We deserve better. But until we believe that very fact our hearts insecure or not will be open for attack and our enemy is cunning and smart. He has perfected his skills over millions before us. He is good at what he does but he is not the best. He can be defeated. Easier than we could ever imagine... he can be defeated!

I am not willing...

I am not willing could mean a lot depending on the situation. It could mean a lot of good or mean a lot of bad. It could be dripping with encouragement and strength... Or reeking of fear and doubt. We are not willing to stand idly by why the world is being taken over by lust, pain, cruelty, and out right Godlessness... I am not willing to watch those around me fall into the same hole that I was stuck in for so long. I am not willing to leave you stranded and alone because of my own fear. I am not willing to give up on you. How amazing it must feel to have your faith be tested on any level and you stand tall... slamming your foot down and with a strong voice you protest that you are not willing to give up. I am not willing to let the enemy in and destroy my life even if it is for only a moment. I am not willing to watch your army fight endlessly against odds that would have made the armor barer shake. I am not willing to give up hope. Oh how those moments would pass and hearts would be uplifted.

Fear...

You read time and time again in the bible "fear not". It is strange to me how often God or Jesus makes a reference to not fearing. It is only strange to me because fear is such a common thing in my life and I am sure so many more. Not common as in I fear all the time but more that it is a very well known emotion that frequents my thoughts on numerous occasions. And oh does it work. The enemy has done quite well in mastering the art of fear. We read in the bible the absolute first knowledge of fear was experienced by Adam where after he ate the fruit he hid from God. Because he was afraid of what might come. Life hasnt really changed yet because fear is just as strong now as it was then. It grips you in ways that you would have never expected. We are told in the bible "fear not"... we are told in the bible "do not be anxious"... but we still fear and we still become anxious. The enemy has indeed perfected this dastardly thing. This emotion that swallows you hole. It chocks you from the world and covers your eyes. You cant breathe. You heart feels like it is pounding and your head matches the toucher. You mind runs and things on every level dealing with the situation. How you can beat it, how you should not be where you are, and the ever tempting "woe is me". Fear is smart... The enemy is smart. He knows where to poke and when to poke and how to poke at things that you thought were long gone. He sits and waits... and waits for your guard to slack just slightly where he can try his games again. We have a protector but I hate it when someone stands up and screams with all of their might, JESUS is our protector and he shall get us through this. Yes... I agree, with all my heart that Jesus is my protector. But when I dont give him the chance. When I lay down my shield, the enemy has full reign. Why must we hide??? Why must we run??? Why dont we stand tall and be the iconic inspirational hero that we always dreamed of being. Standing toe to toe with the enemy... Feeling Jesus standing beside us as we battle for our very soul. Our sanity even. Why must we shuffle off into the night with our tails between our legs. God help us.

It seems strange to be so far from you. I am working for you constantly. Trying so very hard to think of new things for your people, for myself to be closer. Although I will be the first to admit that I have slacked lately and I am in no way trying to say I don't know who's fault it is as to why we are so quiet with each other. But now that I miss you. And I know that I should call more often. Just wanted to write it down, so I could remember.

How many times have I laid my head on my pillow and think I'm garbage, horrible, stupid. How many times have I either ended or started a day thinking I'm junk. Everyday life tries to sell us this lie that we are junk... that we are worthless. Sometimes the salesman is pretty good and we buy into it. And when that moment comes the lie becomes truth to us. We load on bag after bag of baggage which carries every stupid little detail that we either hide or idolize. We tend to think only sin sticks to us but even sinless pain can find its way on our backs. A harsh word from a stranger, coworker, friend, family can latch itself on our shoulders and make itself at home. We stand there holding baggage of the moment, day, month, year, lifetime while being sold the lie that we are garbage. And sometimes we are just so darn tired that the lie just sounds so true.