Dont ever fool yourself... There is nothing that you do or go through that is bad in good times. Nothing that you are involved in or deal with are bad in good moments. Its when the moments turn bad and you still are good that counts.

I think we all secretly or openly want to be loved almost more than anything else. We tend to focus more on our close friendships then we do on the regular people in our lives and why? Because they love us or we love them? We tend to stay close to our family regardless of whether there have been problems or pains and why? Because they have loved us our entire lives and no matter what we say aloud we really do love them? We tend to fall for charismatic people in our lives and we doodle in our head the changes that would come from a long relationship or even a marriage and why? Because Disney and every other childhood influence has made us believe that the love between two people in marriage is a love that cannot be explained or given a simple value and that trust and loyalty and this amazing emotion is something we have always been looking for? Yea, I think unconsciously we will or have always been looking for love. Something that you can call your own. Something that you and someone else built and maintain. You work with sweat and tears to keep this fluid thing alive and we cherish this living thing that is amongst us. I think that is also the reason that we are so terrified of it. Terrified of losing it, hurting it, not finding it, or simply not feeling it. Your heart doesn't sink for to many situations but when the love of your life or at least the love that your heart has chosen decides to be difficult or play hide and seek that sinking feeling comes creeping in... But the other side to love and probably the more rewarding side is the trust or the faith that the moment will turn around to reveal these amazing gifts and rewards for moments that were more trying then you thought you could get through. If its love, its worth getting hurt over. If it is love its worth the wait, the risk, the frustration and any other possible emotion that could come crawling in your love struck mind... Don't give up... Don't give in because there will be powers that try to detour you from this amazing emotion that is nothing less than a gift to your life. Hold on and reap your rewards in the end.

If you think just because Jesus knows what is going to happen in your life he doesn't enjoy or feel the moments when they happen you just think about points in your life that you knew what was going to happen and they still don't hit you just as strong as if you had no idea....

Don't think for a second that when I met you I fell for you... Don't think for a second that over time our hearts became one and love was a product of that growth. I have loved you since the first time I ever read a love story. I have loved you since the first time my heart ever fluttered. I have loved you my entire life, I have just been waiting to know your name...

There has never been a situation where you didnt know exactly what you wanted. There have been plenty of situations where you were fearful of the options, fearful of the possibilities and then decided to second guess just what it was that you wanted in the first place...

I had a dream... It was probably the most vivid dream I have ever had. You were right there beside me. You were so beautiful that I just had to kiss you. I slid my hands behind your neck teasing your hair and I slid in for a kiss. When your like did not respond the dream ended. Sadly I awoke to you not there.

Just know my heart misses you... So very much.